This boy has a tale to tell

I need more time please...

2007-05-23T05:55:00.001+10:00

I just realized that most of my posts are during the wee hours of the morning. When the night is silent with only the occasional shouts of drunk people making their way back home. When my house mates are all fast asleep. Its just me and my thoughts. and I kinda of like it. I get to lie down, and just daydream. just dwell in my thoughts. the events that have happened. my hopes for tomorrow. the choices that i have made. how would have things been if i had taken a different road. a lot of 'what ifs" start popping out and also those occasional 'i hope' or 'i wish'. but thats just a sidestep from reality. a man can dream but does he have the will and courage to pursue it. I hope i do.

well anyway... life has been so busy. busy gile babi. ( an excuse for the lack of upadates in this blog :P), but seriously its been hell. not just for me but i guess most of us. assignments every week, pre-labs than labs than lab submissions, mid semester tests.. mid -mid semester tests. and those BIG projects (i swear if i hear the word design again i'm gonna go psycho)

And now its almost study week.. exams around the corner. so wut does this poor soul have to help him get through this tormenting period of his life. THE FUCKING USED... muahahaha... emoemoemoemo.... da lame gile tunggu for the album... and its out at last... and my reaction after listening to the tracks... mmm i dunno.... seriously if i wanted to listen to soft ballads theres a tonne of it in my playlist..(haha... man i'm a soft sentimental guy) But i really wanted to get high with the screaming and poor expressive voice of Bert. but still overall.. the album was great (except for that last song... amir.. smother me sepam.. muahahaha). So I guess this is gonna be kinda my fuel to get through study week. (note to self... buy ticket taste of chaos on the first day.. nanti sold out in 2 hours lagi)

Guess thats all for this post.. wishing everyone all the best for the finals... over and out...

randomness..lol

2007-05-14T04:25:00.000+10:00

could you spare me a moment
i hope u'll understand
theres so much bottled up inside me
its too much for me to withstand
the dreams i've yet to achieve
the troubles that never seem to end
i feel so helpless.. i feel so lonely
i just need a helping hand

could you spare me a moment
i promise it wont take long
the devils inside say i wont make it
i hope that theyre wrong
any words of advice?
ive been lingering for so long
dont let my appearance fool you
i'm far from being strong

could you spare me a moment
i really need a shoulder to lean on
eyes that see past the exterior
understanding whats going on
ears that hear the unspoken
a mouth that soothes the heart
and a heart that understands the soul
saving it from falling apart

OWNAGE

2007-03-27T08:52:00.000+10:00

note - wouldnt be of much interest to all anti dota people out there..lol :)

I slept smiling this whole weekend. A few NZ frens challenged us to a game of dota and we crushed them. all three games... muahahaha. Neway below were the results.

First Game : AUS (scourge) 57kills - NZ (sentinel) 7 kills
lich (mid solo)(me)
chaos knight (bot)(anas)
spirit breaker (bot)(berg)
sand king (top)(din)
lion (top)(freak)

Second Game : AUS (scourge) 46kills - NZ (sentinel) 6 kills
pudge (top solo)(me)
viper (mid)(din)
bloodseeker (mid)(anas)
necrolyte (bot)(freak)
venomancer (bot)(berg)

Third Game : AUS (sentinel) 25 kills - NZ (scourge) 17 kills
juggernaut (bot solo)(din)
zeus (mid)(berg)
rhasta (mid)(freak)
panda (top)(me)
drow (top)(anas)

Hope

2007-03-17T06:53:00.000+11:00

The boy looked down. His gaze was met with nothing but pure darkness; was there an end to this bottomless canyon? He could hear the screams, the wailing moans of the trapped souls falling down the pit for all eternity, helplessly hoping for death to free them from this torment.

The man just stared at the boy. Holding on to a bolder, he was dangling at the edge of the canyon. Above him was the boy and below was certain doom.

The boy reached out his hand but the man stayed motionless. He couldn’t see the man’s face but somehow he could feel his presence, the state of his soul to be exact - it was despair. The boy stretched his hand further, he could almost reach him. Just a little bit more.

But all that the boy grasped was air. The man had let go of the bolder. Not a sound had come out of his mouth. There was no scream of help; there was no cry of regret. Just silence as he fell deeper and deeper into the abyss.

***

Gasp…

It was a silent and cold night; Icy cold. But somehow the boy woke up sweating. Little drops of water were dripping down his pale face as he tried to recall where he was.

I’m in the forest.

He looked around. Large trees loomed above him blocking the light from the moon and all that he could see was darkness. The boy was all alone but that didn’t bother him. What bothered him was the dream, the same dream that he’s been having for the past seven days, ever since he started this journey.

It’s just a dream. I can’t let this get to me now, not when I’ve come this far. I have to reach the castle. It will be mine.

He knew that he would reach his goal. The boy was determined. The gift of youth has provided him with so much energy, so much desire to fulfill his dream and he will stop at nothing till he has obtained it. The road that he has traveled has not been easy and at times the obstacles that he faced seemed impossible to overcome. But he will not turn back. He will prevail.

As the first glimpse of sunlight broke out, the boy continued his journey. It was a repetitious process of cutting vines and trampling through murky swamps. but he moved on. At last, after days of fighting off wild beasts, evading bandits and enduring mosquito bites, the little boy had reached a clearing.

The boy stood there dumbfounded. What he saw could not be possible.

The canyon; It’s the same canyon from my dreams.

A sudden chill ran down his spine as he heard the screams and wails from down below. He knew what he would see down that cliff but was he brave enough to embrace it. The boy hesitated for a moment. Alas, his curiosity got the best of him and he crept closer to the edge of the canyon.

Looking down, the boy saw him, the same man from his dreams. But this time he could see the man’s face clearly.

No. This can’t be true.

That small skinny figure, the round boyish face and those brown hollow eyes. The boy recognized the man. It was him; an older him.

“How did you end up like this?” the boy asked, his voice trembling from disbelief.

The man remained silent.

“Say something!” the boy screamed. “What happened? How can this be me?”

“I’m sorry.” Words finally coming out from the mans mouth. “It’s too hard, I can’t take it anymore."

“So your just gonna give up?” Staring at the man, the boy was engulfed with anger.

“I’ve fallen too deep too many times; failure after failure. I just want it to end.”

“Then what about the castle? Have u forgotten about the castle? Our goal. Our dream. Don’t you still yearn for it? “

“I’ll just fall down again if I go on.”

“Then rise back up. No matter how many times, get up and move on.” Tears starting to trickle down the boys face. “Don’t break amidst your failures; realize it’s those failures that shape you. Will you reach your goal? Will you conquer the castle? No one knows for sure. But one thing that I’m certain of, the journey will be meaningful."

There was silence as the both of them just looked at each other. Somehow they could feel the others mind, as though their feelings were intertwined. Tears kept pouring down, as the boy stood there. He could feel the man battling the demons inside him.

Then the man gave a faint smile.

“Aren’t you gonna help me up?”

The boy laughed, wiping of his tears. He reached out his hand, and pulled the man above.

The man was back on his two feet, but the boy began to fade away, floating to the heavens with a huge smile on his face. The man understood. There was only one thing racing through his mind at that moment.

HOPE.

we've come a long way

2007-03-13T04:34:00.000+11:00

its almost been 2 years.. what was it like when we first arrived?

first day at university of melbourne

first tram ride

first birthday party here

the sites ive seen.. the places ive been.. the wonderful people ive met.. the experiences ive gained.. the lessons ive learned.

just wanna wish all my frens out there.. wherever u are.. whatever ure doing.. the best of luck.. and thank you for adding color and spice to my life. cheers.

Guys just love their toys

2007-03-09T06:09:00.000+11:00

Guess what... I got a new toy !!! muahahaha.. the Sony Ericsson W880i.

Okok.. so its not exactly the most advanced piece of machinery. But who cares, I just get sooo excited when I get a new piece of electronic to play with. Btw her names Jessica, she has a hot slim body (2 credit cards thick i think), a good memory (1 gig), nice vision (2.0 camera) and boy can she sing (dont really need to bring my ipod along anymore). My rumate da stat calling me batak hp, but he has to realize that this baby needs some tender loving care :P. Aint that right Jess?

Toying around with Jess all day, I just realised that Samantha needed a total makeover. And since I was in the 'electronic tweaking and gadget repairing mood' I started getting smangat gile. So I opened her clothes - she looked terrible. There were stains and bruises all over her body. And a quick medical checkup confirmed she had some brain problems.. patut aa so lampi lately. I knew I needed some professional help.

And eriz was just the right person to see (and he just loves doing this kind of stuff). With our combined skills I knew that we could bring Sam back to her youthful self.

First we deleted her brain, formatted it and reinstalled all the necessary programs. Then we took her body apart and sucked off all those excessive fat, gave her a nice warm bath and massaged all those kerak off her skin. and WALLAA.. she's brand new.

And it took us the entire nite. matahari pon da naik da ni. But it just shows.. guys love their toys.

ps. Gonna pick up Catherine at the workshop today with eby. She's pumped and ready to ride :P

70s.. 80s.. anyone?

2007-02-14T06:48:00.000+11:00

It all started a few days ago, sitting in front of the tv watching all these ads at 3 in the morning. there was this advertisement selling a compilation of songs from the 70s and 80s which caught my attention. and before u know it.. I begin singing along. word by word..and a sudden gush of emotion just hit me.. man i really missed these songs.

Songs from air supply, chicago, carpenters and bee gees managed to sooth my feelings.. clear up my mixed up mind. happy memories from the past just started streaming in. ok i sound like i come from that era.. but the truth is i grew up with most of these songs. riding with my parents in the car, its the only songs that they put into the cassette player and the only stations they listen to were light and easy.

and listening to these songs again made me miss home SOO MUCH.

so i got to my computer.. opened my torrent.. p2p.. whatever i could find and started downloading these tunes. after about a hundred songs made a playlist and played them continuously .. over and over again.. sedap gile lagu2 ni.. neway here are a few of my all time favorites..

all out of love - air supply
why do birds - carpenters
total eclipse of the heart - bonnie tyler
best that you can do - christopher cross
i would give everything i own - bread

d.o.t.a

2007-02-10T03:39:00.000+11:00

OMG... I just realised i havent played dota for 4 days. is something wrong with me?

The urge to click on that warcraft icon and own (kick the other players online buts) noobs (the opposite of me - people who suck at the game...muahaha) is completely gone - well almost.

I guess i'm finally learning to manage my time and prioritise a li'l better. but no matter how long i rest from playing dota i'm still ...NO 1 (in astorial... and some say in australia..hahahaha)

thats just life

2007-02-07T04:32:00.000+11:00

With the exams around the corner and an assignment due tommorow, the pressure is starting to get to me.. and i'm the kind of person who doesnt handle pressure very well. Around others I try to keep a straight face acting like i dont have a care in the world but theres this li'l boy in my head screaming - he's scared; completely terrified.

Makes me wish i was back in grade school. Whenever i had something bothering me i'll just have to merengek to my mum and she'll solve it (didnt go to my dad often, more of a mummy's boy.. hehe). Didnt have stuff like 'study hard and get a degree' or 'dont fail or u'll lose ur scholar' bothering me, it was mostly fun and games. aaah those were the days (this sounds so corny) and i MISS it.

But you know wuts funny, as a kid, i just couldnt wait to grow up.. couldnt wait to be able to drive a car.. couldnt wait to be able to go out all night.. and now that i can do all that, i'm wishing to go back to being a kid. I guess the cycle just goes on. i bet people who are married with children or people stuck in their offices working are thinking the same thing, wishing for a chance to relive their college years again.

so now i'm gonna go back to studying Engineering Analysis B at 5 in the morning. still feeling the pressure.. still going crazy.. but hey look on the bright side, wut responsibilities i have now seems so small compared to wut i'll be facing in say another 10 years. better make the best of it while it lasts.

you've heard of this before

2007-02-05T04:27:00.000+11:00

Ok its my first post on my new blog. lets just hope it doesnt end up like my last one.. hehe.
So u must be wandering why i'm writing this blog (if ure not, I'm gonna tell u anyway). Its all part of my new years resolution. Yup thats right.. the routine i go through every year, making a list of all the things i wanna do and end up accomplishing nothing. But this year its gonna be different (ok i've said this every year too.. sue me :P).

2006.. it had its ups and downs, maybe more wrongs than rights. but ive passed the sulking phase and looking at the future in a positive frame of mind. And I started the year with a... BANG.

BIG DAY OUT was FREAKING AWESOME...

no seriously it exceeded all my expectations. standing a few feet from MCR and hearing Muse and the Killers perform live - pure satisfaction. My body was aching after the day long event, being the small dude in the middle of a massive hysterical crowd.. but it was totally worth it.

and now i have my summer exams coming up... cuak cuak. my last semester results is kinda haunting me don wanna go through that ordeal again. so wish me luck people, gonna need LOTS and LOTS of it.

ps. lets just hope this blog isnt another one of my hangat2 tahi ayam projects..;p